chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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