My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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