Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
