she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We don't watch enough power rangers
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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