I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
