everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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