I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
