I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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