your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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