Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
