I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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