Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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