did you get engaged???
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
