soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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