lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
