I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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