He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
