This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
