Ketchup is God's man juice
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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