Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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