thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drake has all the answers
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i out mim tonsoeep
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