I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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