Screwed.edu
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
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