honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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