god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
