I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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