Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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