New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
