I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
