Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
