Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
