Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
