dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize