I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
