just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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