I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
