Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
