Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
