well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize