i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
MIDGETS
????
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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