Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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