dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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