the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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