So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
is it fun? or sober?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
