Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize