She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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