when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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