Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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