D3 body, D1 cock
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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