I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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