Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
