We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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