he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
