Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
