is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
