Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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