Who did Billy Mays play for?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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