this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
