chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
