I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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