I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
