it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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