Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
