no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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